aidel in Search of Self

Hello world. I’m aidel. And you have just either been led to or stumbled upon my first ever blogging experiment. As far as experiments go, this one is pretty lame because I have no predictions, expectations or even any particular axe to grind. The question that I want to answer is: How do I want to entertain myself for what is left of my life?


Now I’m going to resist the urge to flap my trap about traveling half of my life’s way and finding myself within a shadowed forest, etc., but a small amount of background information might be useful. First, I am officially insane (but competent) and I received confirmation of this fact via US mail just today. The last day that I worked was Thanksgiving day 2009. Around that time I sustained a bad back injury and proceeded to have a nervous breakdown and I have not had a substantial, qualitative recovery from either of these events. Second, my knowledge/talents/skills scale is heavily weighted on the minus side. In fact, the other side rattles around in the breeze. Third, some of you probably know (or can figure out) my identity. It is quite possible that nobody besides me cares about this, but please if you do know, don’t make it your life’s mission to share your knowledge. I ask this for the sake of my family’s privacy.


So, back to the experiment. I need some data. The world is full of fascinating stuff. (I think we all hit the jackpot with the ancient Chinese curse: “May you live in interesting times.”) How does one know if/when to focus on a particular life’s work? How did you know? Regrets? Is there something you love doing more than what you are actually doing? Has anybody made significant (risky) career changes mid-life?


Thank you very much for stopping by. It’s not that I have a shortage of material. This time I just stuck my toe in the water and the technical learning curve will be steep. Please tell me your stories. I do want this to be more than a mental masturbation (although I’m quite prepared to go there, too). You can throw rotten tomatoes at me, if it will really make you feel better. But I promise not to call you a fobbing, pottle-deep canker-blossom. (Motherfucker is more my style.) Also, I will keep your identity, emails or whatever confidential (assuming you are not threatening to kill anybody). If it is possible to have a space in the blogosphere where honest, open discussion – without shame or posturing but still able to maintain a sense of humor – can take place, then I want to be part of it. I’d love to host it. (I told you I am insane.)





4 Responses to “aidel in Search of Self”

  1. Sister Languida Says:

    Hey, glad you’re doing this. You’re a good writer with a recognizable style. Lots of questions. What constitutes “insane”? Insanity and competence are often considered to be mutually exclusive. And in the world of micro-diagnosis and infinite medical specialty, maybe there’s a more precise category for what you are? Something that accommodates competence? I think of “insane” as a feeling, one that is always NOW, always terrifying, and always fleeting (though I only remember this later, con calma).

    On another note, I find the notion of “career” somewhat retro, a misleading moniker for what so many of us actually do to make a living. The dream of “career” is the harmony of desire and talent, but I think only very few people in the world can combine these two on a daily basis.

    Looking forward to the next installment!

    • aidelsshoptalk Says:
    • I agree. “Career” is retro. But it’s not a career I’m looking for — it’s a life’s work. One thing is clear: I need to go back to school and see what’s out there. As far as insanity goes, perhaps it is a feeling (and I’m feeling it). Meh. @Sister, you’ve done so many interesting things. If anybody knows how to pursue her interests and develop her talents, it’s you. But how?
  2. Quick Links | A Blog Around The Clock Says:

    […] ScienceOnline2011 in the final stretch of organization, Open Laboratory in the final stretch of submissions, four SciAm guest-blog posts lined up for this week, a Q&A to respond to, ‘Encephalon’ to prepare for tomorrow at noon, lots of e-mails to answer….let’s say that this was a busy Sunday. aidel in Search of Self […]

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